The Greatest Game Ever Played

Lots of folks miss professional sports right now. If this isn't you, I suggest you catch the next blog that should pull into the station in a couple days.

But for those that do,the following is a transcript of the last few minutes of the greatest game ever played, minus the commercials:

"The temperature on the field at the start of the game was 92 degrees fahrenheit, but with so many players being struck by lightning and bursting into flames, it's got to be well over 100 now. Nence takes the puck. Centering pass to Largecrack. Largecrack tiptoes past center ice, passes to Shambles. Shambles to Truewords. Bounces off his skate and collected by Satan who takes it the other way now. Oh! Nifty move past Eternal Strife! Satan to Heidi in the slot. Heidi skates uphill across an emerald green field. An uphill meadow! This is unbelievable! Heidi winds up. Fakes. Winds up again..oh no...Heidi trips on braids of her gold spun locks...still gets off a wrister! Off the post, rebound Olajuwon. Olajuwan scampers through the crowd and up into the broadcast booth to give his own opinion of that last play. Dap Sugar Willy hands off to Krell. Krell breaks a tackle. He's at the 40, 50, 40, 30. He could go all...Oh my God! Krell's head has been completely removed from his body from an apparent misfire of a hotdog cannon. Number two nearest the camera is Seabiscuit. War Admiral is catching up and the battle is on as they run neck and neck. They're coming to the home stretch and Seabiscuit pulls away as Clemente rounds second! Swan lays out flat in the left corner of the end zone. Oh what a catch! Were his toes inbounds? Yes, touchdown! Do you believe in miracles!"